Mom had an affair 18 years ago, I [18M] am the product of it. My dad just informed me of all this, and told me he will not pay for my college, while my siblings got their college experience paid by our dad.

Pretty much the title. I have no idea how to process all this, and I am completely unprepared for what lies ahead 🙁

Both my older brother and sister went to the same college. My brother graduated two years ago, my sister is set to graduate in two years. Both had their college paid by our dad. Dad paid all their college expenses, including rent, food, their cars, pocket money, you name it.

My brother has a job now, his own place, lives together with his fiancee, and has his life together.

My sister already has a good paying job, and my dad still pays for almost everything for her.

I got accepted to the same college, which was always the plan, and was looking forward to talk with my parents about the next steps, and ask them to help me the same they did for my siblings. I always assumed they had money put aside for my college the way they had for my siblings.

Instead I was met with a story about my mom's cheating, how I am the result of her cheating, and how my dad is not willing to support me any more moving forward.

Dad told me that mom had 18 years to let me know and prepare me for the future, but obviously she never did. He said it was never is place to say anything since I am not his son, and didn't want to interfere with mom's parenting.

Apparently my grandparents know I am not dad's biological son, but they haven't bothered to tell me anything either.

My siblings had no idea, and they are as surprised as I am because there was never a hint of anything being off. I might be naive, but I always thought I had a great relationship with my dad. We go to see sports together, we go fishing together, he tutored me when I had difficulties with math (dad is an engineer), he taught me to drive. I never got a hint he stores resentment towards me. I mean, he gave me my name, and has explained what my name means, and he was very proud of it. It's a story he tells from time to time. He likes to talk about stuff like that about me.

My mom has never said a word about anything, and apparently she was supposed to have "the talk" with me, but she never did.

I feel abandoned and unprepared for what lies ahead. I am not even sure I will be able to go to college any more, I always assumed my parents will pay for it. I never had a job, and I am not sure what job I can even get to support me through college, I have no idea how to apply for loans.

All my mom has done is cry and apologize. But nothing of substance, she has no idea how to help me.

I don't even know if I am welcomed home any more, it's all up in the air, I feel shame leaving my room, and if I will be asked to move out I don't know where to go. I don't have any savings, maybe $400 put together.

I am angry at my mom, I am confused about where I stand with my dad. There's a man out there who is my father that never wanted to have anything to do with me. I feel rejected and I have no idea what to do to fix this situation.

Anyone have any idea what to do here?

Do I apologize to my dad? What do I say to him?

Idk, I've been stuck in my room these past few days, reading and browsing reddit. I have no idea what to do.

Edit: Comments are coming in faster than I can reply, but I am making a list with all the advice about financial aid, health insurance, getting my own phone plan, etc, things I didn't even think about before. Thank you everyone.

I will try to answer as much as I can, but there's more comments than I can handle.

submitted by /u/throwawaynocollege01 to r/relationship_advice
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